Baldwin of Ford's Hesitation in Prayer

Have you ever found yourself hesitating in prayer or unsure if your words matter or if the Lord is listening? This tension is the focus of Baldwin of Ford’s “On Hesitation on Prayer” from his book, The Commendation of Faith. Hesitation in prayer stems from hesitation in faith. He writes, “The reason for hesitation in faith is because we put too little trust in God and too much in ourselves.”¹

Baldwin of Ford presents a paradox central to the monastic journey: the interplay of human frailty and divine fidelity. He highlights the vulnerability of prayer—the “confusion of uncertainty and ignorance”²—wherein even the righteous feel adrift, unsure if heard or what to ask. An example of this is found in St. Paul: “…a thorn in the flesh was given to me, an angel of Satan, to beat me, to keep me from being too elated. Three times I begged the Lord about this, that it might leave me, but he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for power is made perfect in weakness.’”³ Here we see how Paul’s prayer for himself is unanswered. “The righteous are sometimes ignorant of what it is proper to ask,”⁴ as Paul clarifies: “We do not know what we ought to pray for.”⁵ Jesus echoes this to the sons of Zebedee: “You do not know what you are asking.”⁶

Baldwin of Ford observes that even when we rightly “ask from God wisdom, charity, humility, patience, peace of mind…we still do not know whether what we seek is the right thing for us to have or for him to give.”⁷ We remain limited in understanding. Paul exemplifies this tension when he wrestles with uncertainty over whether to pray for earthly life or heavenly gain. He writes, “For to me, to live is Christ, and to die is gain”.⁸ This is not faith’s failure but a recognition of creaturely limitations, a surrender surpassing eloquence. “Even though they trust resolutely in the mercy of God, they still tremble because of their frailty.”⁹

This speaks to the core of the monastic vocation: the certainty of weakness. Standing before God, stripped of illusions—aware of flawed motives, the poverty of our righteousness, and our fragility—is humility, not despair. This humility, as St. Benedict's Rule emphasizes, urges daily confession of evil deeds (RB 4),¹⁰ not to dwell in guilt but to escape self-reliance.

However, Baldwin does not leave us trembling. He addresses the paradox animating monastic prayer: hope and fear’s coexistence. “When they pray, they are placed between hope and fear: how, then, do they ask in faith without hesitation?”¹¹ Baldwin’s resolution is simple yet radical: “They do not hesitate in that faith which in all things and through all things, they do not doubt to be true.”¹² This is not blind certainty but fiducia—trust rooted in God’s unchanging character, not feelings or outcomes.